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Published: August 18, 2008 12:00 am
Our little family
A child brings a big difference in life
By Ashley Goodwin
Times West Virginian
When is the right time for a couple to start a family?
I interviewed a Fairmont couple, Rebecca Fulaytar and Kenneth Murphey, about how they are maneuvering with raising a young family.
Fulaytar stated, “I never expected to be a mother at the age of 22. It wasn’t something I planned. I always wanted to start having children in my late 20s early 30s, but I doubt age really matters. I embraced it and took the necessary steps to prepare myself for a 9-month journey ending with a wonderful blessing at the end of it. Being a mother at this age doesn’t really bother me because I am with Kenneth whom I love, and I know is going to be 100 percent part of this all the way with me. I’ve been with Kenneth for almost six years and even though we are young parents, I know we can do a great job raising our child because we are doing it together.”
Murphey stated, “Finding out the news it scared the crap out of me. In a matter of couple of days, I lost about 10 pounds. That night when I tried to go to sleep all I did was shake, but when I wrapped my arms around Rebecca, I felt secure and was sure that we would make it.”
Murphey said, “When I first told my mom. I went to her and said, ‘Mom, I have something to tell you.’ She responded with, ‘You wrecked your car.’ I had just bought a car about 10 days before I found out. I said no so then she learned ‘Rebecca’s pregnant,’ she didn’t seem to be upset at all. She was worried for me and how I felt, but she said she was very happy about it. Rebecca and I had been together for six years at the time so she also felt that our relationship was very secure. The rest of my family just kind of found out through time. I slowly told everyone, and they all seemed to be happy.
Fulaytar stated, “I told my mother first (alone, no dad) that I was pregnant. I sat her down and told her, and she was very surprised. She just assumed that I would have taken all the precautions to prevent that, but her concern was more for me and Kenneth — how hard it would be for us and because we had so much going on in our lives. I did not directly tell my father. My mom did because I was nervous to tell him. Only because I felt in some way I’d be letting him down, and I just didn’t know how to let my dad know that his daughter was going to have a baby. However, in the end, both of my parents were and are extremely supportive and helpful with my pregnancy. They love me and are always going to be there for me.”
Fulaytar explained her pregnancy, “This was my first pregnancy and it went very smoothly. I had none of the typical pregnancy symptoms like nausea, heartburn or swollenness. I never got depressed over my changing body or hormones. I actually really grew to like my baby belly and the little life moving around inside. I worked all nine months of pregnancy with ease. When I found out we were having a little boy, I did everything I could to ensure safe delivery and good health. For my first experience, this pregnancy was a wonderful experience.”
Fulaytar continues, “Our son, Gavin William Murphey was born on June 7, 2008. My life has completely changed since the second he was born. Everything I do now is for him and his well being. He is my world, and I want to do whatever I can to keep him safe and help him grow in a healthy and good environment. With every decision and choice I make, I consider how it’s going to affect him first. I can’t go out with my friends whenever I want like I used to or go out every night, but I’m living now to raise a person who is depending on me.”
Murphey states on the pressure of home life, “Yeah, I feel like I have more responsibilities. It doesn’t help that I started a full time job on May 16 and Gavin arrived on June 7. It was all overwhelming, but in a good way. I like my job. I love Gavin. The only thing I don’t like is it seems like all my time with Rebecca is now gone.”
Murphey states, “It’s great having my own family. I do wish I could have waited about five years, but I would rather have it now then never. I always wanted to have a family when I was young so that I could play with my children and their friends. Sometimes, though, it is overwhelming. There are times when I get depressed because I can’t just go out to the movies with Rebecca. It’s a whole ordeal whenever we anywhere. Pack the diaper bag, get the bottles, and don’t forget the burp rag. Once a man told me, ‘Kids are the greatest pains,’ and it seems like that’s about right.”
Fulaytar said, “I feel a great new sense of life having my own family. My wonderful boyfriend of almost six years is the best father I could have ever hoped to have for my child. He works very hard to support Gavin and myself. Gavin is truly is my whole world. It’s amazing having this little life and knowing he loves me unconditionally and depends on me. It makes me feel really special and important. Whether I was ready for it or not, having my little family is one of the best things that have ever happened to me. There’s so much love, support and encouragement. My parents did a great job raising me, and I only hope that I can do as well with my son. I am very happy with my family."
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