By Misty Poe
Times West Virginian
”Schöni Wiehnachte!” Renée Zellweger might say to her grandparents in Switzerland. “Sung Tan Chuk Ha!” South Korean pop artist Psy might stop galloping in his Gangnam Style way to wish American fans the best of the season. “Alassë a Hristomerendë!” the elf Elron might say to a cashier after a transaction. (OK, we understand that elven is not spoken outside of Tolkien’s world, but the author actually wrote the entire language and conjugations in conjunction with “Lord of the Rings.” So I’m pretty sure we can consider it a real language, even if we don’t believe in elves.)
It all translates to “Merry Christmas!”
Proving that no matter how you say it ....
Wait! It matters how you say it! There is a war, after all!
A war, you say? Oh yes, the War on Christmas! And you may be a casualty and not even know it. Or know that there’s a war going on.
You see, the secular forces of such evil agencies like the ACLU are trying to make it so Christmas cannot be celebrated as Christ’s birth ... even though it’s not really the time of year Christ was born. You see, most scientists and theologians believe he was probably born in the spring because that’s when shepherds would have watched their flocks by night and a whole host of other factors and data. But we have Easter in the spring.
Oh, off track. Sorry. Back to the war.
You see, you can’t display nativity scenes on public grounds. “They” have made sure of that.
And you can’t say “Merry Christmas!” or “Christmas trees” or “Christmas cards.” You have to say “Happy Holidays” so as not to offend people.
Silly me. I was always under the impression that “Happy Holidays” was a nice little package that included Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and New Year’s. It’s not that I wouldn’t want to belt out a “Merry Christmas!” in fear of offending anyone. It’s just much more efficient to wrap them all up like a little pretty package under the Holiday Tree ... rather the Christmas Tree.
I keep forgetting about the war. OK, I would have been a terrible war correspondent.
Anyway, first it’s the Baby Jesus in the Nativity in the public square that has to be removed ... and then what? Will we get “glitter bombed” by the PC crowd if we say “Jesus is the Reason for the Season?”
Come now. But then Fox News has a graphic and everything that says “War on Christmas” in big bold letters. I’m not convinced. But in this forum, my opinion is only one of hundreds who vote on the hot topics on our online poll each week, which can be found at www.timeswv.com.
Last week, we asked “Many claim the War on Christmas wages on as secular forces are turning a religious holiday to a commercial celebration. What are your thoughts?”
And here’s what you had to say:
• I think the pundits aren’t giving Americans enough credit. We know Jesus is the reason for the season — 21.95 percent
• If you keep Christmas in your heart, you’re winning whatever spiritual battle comes your way — 29.27 percent
• If I hear “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” one more time ... 48.78 percent.
Well, Merry Christmas ... Happy Holidays ... Seasons Greetings ... to each their own. No matter what, treasure your family and keep you loved ones close. We are never promised tomorrow and need to make the most of today. That rings so true after the school shooting in Newtown, Conn., earlier this month that left 28, including the shooter, dead. How can we prevent any future tragedies like this one?
Log on. Vote. Email me or respond directly online.