The Times West Virginian

December 25, 2013

HERTZEL COLUMN- Festive WVU tunes to bring joy to Christmas

By Bob Hertzel
For the Times West Virginian

MORGANTOWN — Ho, ho, ho. They say it’s starting to look a lot like Christmas, which it is, but even more than that it is sounding a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go.

Christmas is special for a lot of reasons and the music ranks up there with family, gift giving and celebrating the birth of Christ.

From “Silent Night” to “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth,” it is all you have heard no matter where you were for the past month, and we can’t allow Christmas morning to go by without our own Mountaineer versions of Christmas songs.

So here’s a present you don’t have to unwrap.

Have a Merry Christmas!


“Ollie Luck’s Not Comin’ To Town”

To the tune of “Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town”

You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I’m telling you why. Ollie Luck’s not coming to town. He’s making a fist, Banging it twice; Took a chance and rolled the dice. Ollie Luck’s not coming to town.

He thought he would go creeping, Into Texas, for goodness sake. But they said ‘No way, Ollie.’ Our A.D. you won’t make, so ...

You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I’m telling you why. Ollie Luck’s not coming to town.


“White Christmas”

(With apologies to Irving Berlin, Bing Crosby and The Drifters)

I’m dreaming of a good football team

Just like the ones I used to know

Where the stands are rocking

The linemen blocking

For backs always on the go, you know.

I’m dreaming of a strong defense

Which tackles runners left and right

May your wins come every day and night

And may you have

A season out of sight.


“Basket Balls”

To the tune of “Jingle Bells”

Dashing through the lane

In a one-on-one display

Juwan Staten goes

Dribbling all the way

A basketball he flings

Harris on his right

Oh, what fun to rise and scream

For the dunk you see this night!


Jingle bells, Huggins yells,

Dibo leads the way.

O what fun it is inside

The Coliseum today.

Jingle bells, Texas smells,

Sooners soon will pay;

O what fun when you collide

With a Big 12 team today, Hey!


“Tavon The ‘Go Man’”

To the tune of “Frosty The Snowman”

Tavon the ‘Go Man’ was a jolly happy soul

On a running play or pass his way

He’d make it through the hole

Tavon the ‘Go Man’ is impossible to play

He was on the go, never ran slow

He’d take it all the way.

There must have been some magic in that

Helmet which he wore

For when they placed it on his head

Down the field he tore


Tavon the ‘Go Man’

Was as fast as he could be

Caridi would say he ran each play

So quick you could not see

Thumpity thump thump

thumpity thump thump

Look at Tavon go

Thumpity thump thump

thumpity thump thump

Makes Sooners all look slow!


“The Tailgate Song”

To the tune of “The Christmas Song”

(With apologies to Nat King Cole)

Hot dogs roasting on an open fire

Car bombs turning red your nose

“Country Roads” being sung by a choir

Folks wear WVU clothes

Everybody knows Wild Turkey and Old Crow help to make the season bright

Tiny frosh with their eyes all aglow

Will find their way downtown tonight

They know that Dana’s on his way

He’s loaded options and pass plays for today

And every mother’s child is gonna spy

To see if Mountaineers really know how to fly.

And so I’m offering this simple prayer

For 11 and 1, maybe 10 and 2

Although it’s been said many times, many ways,

Merry Christmas to you.

Follow Bob Hertzel on Twitter @bhertzel.