Published: February 28, 2008 07:17 pm            

It's a date ... to play

FAIRMONT — One day, new mom Jayme Dodd got two pieces of advice from another mom that changed her life.

First: “You’re not raising a child. You’re raising an adult.”

Now was the time to teach her daughter, 3-year-old Aleena, the values she’d need later on in life.

“I hadn’t realized that before,” Dodd says. She’d been doing the usual mommy boogie of getting-the-kid-what-the-kid-wants ... NOW.

“Then I realized, when she grows up and has relationships with other people, this would not be good for her.

“That changed our relationship. She no longer sees me as her servant. She sees me as her mother and friend. And I see her as a little lady, a unique individual. And that’s great.”

Who better to give advice to one mom than another mom? That’s the whole purpose behind Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS), which provides playdates of sorts for both moms and their kids.

Jodi Bordenet, coordinator of the Fairmont chapter, is the stay-at-home mom of 3-year-old Alexander.

She has family with children, but they’re all older, she said. And she really can’t ask advice on raising a child from friends who are childless.

But at MOPS, she finds — and gives — advice on child-rearing, family life and just about anything else that comes to mind.

“It’s rewarding to give advice and to get it back,” she said.

“And it’s nice to socialize with other moms going through the things I’m going through.”

A lot happens at these playdates. The little ones enjoy fun activities, like making crafts and going on field trips to the fire department and pumpkin farm.

“I enjoy getting out and having adult conversations,” Bordenet says. “Talking about something other then Bob the Builder or Thomas the Train.”

She knew she was in trouble when, one day as a mom was calling for her son Johnny, she started singing the theme song for “Johnny and the Sprites.”

“It’s just good getting together with grown-ups. There are days when Mommy just needs a break.”

But there’s more going on than that.

Kids come together to play and to learn the delicate art of getting along with fellow toddlers and preschoolers.

And the moms get to hear speakers present information on finances, nutrition, child safety and first aid, and much more.

“We try to make it educational and fun so the kids want to come back and see their friends,” she said.

The friendships the moms and children build are long-lasting.

“You come in, feel comfortable, build friendships, relationships with other ladies that can be lifetime friendships. You’re not going to stop being friends with them.”

You can read Dr. Spock from front to back and back to front, but there’s always gong to be a problem or situation that only another mom can help with.

“I was having a problem with Alex biting at one point,” Bordenet said. “So I talked to the other moms about how to handle this.”

MOPS meets the second and fourth Wednesday of the month at Central Church of the Nazarene, Second and Walnut streets, Fairmont.

The group is for moms of children age birth to 5 years, and of home-schooled children of any age. Although it meets at a church and is a Christian-based organization, membership is open to the general public, regardless of religion.

Playdates are structured, with established story, snack and play times.

Then there are the unofficial, impromptu playdates when a phone call leads to the group gathering at a local fast-food joint, where the moms munch burgers and salads while the kiddies burn off energy in the playroom.

Camille Tennant, mother of 2-year-old Zaccheus, enjoys these grown-up playdates.

“One time they went to a pumpkin farm and got pumpkins to take home to decorate. They also got hayrides through the woods around the farm. They enjoy stuff like that.

“It’s good for them to be around other children their own age.

“I go for the fellowship with other women around my age with children. Say your child is going through one thing. You can talk to someone else and try what they say, and see what works and what doesn’t.”

There’s another reason Jayme Dodd likes the playdates.

“So I don’t go insane,” she said with a laugh, adding that Aleena is “3 going on 12.”

“This is a good way for mothers to connect with other mothers, to share advice and frustrations, to vent about the good stuff and the bad stuff.

“Our kids get together to play and build friendships they’ll have for the rest of their lives.

“And we make a lot of good friends, too. We’re always there for each other.

“It’s something to look forward to, something different from the everyday, mundane stuff.”

The second piece of advice?

“I may not be the perfect mother, but I am the perfect mother for my child.”

E-mail Debra Minor Wilson at dwilson@timeswv.com.

        

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